My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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