Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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