3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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