i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
