Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
