Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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