I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize