Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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