If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
