I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
