Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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