A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
