The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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