hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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