Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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