are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize