When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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