she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
