I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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