Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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