Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize