We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
