i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize