Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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