you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
