I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
