Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I understand Curling. That high.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
