I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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