I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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