Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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