It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
