Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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