i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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