We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
