dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
