you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
