my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize