I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
