Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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