I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
