Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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