your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
