I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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