"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
