ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
