I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize