So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
