I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
