I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
