Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
