I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
