make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
