Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
