There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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