We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
