Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
