Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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