I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
There's even glitter on my cock...
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