I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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