i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
