I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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