Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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