its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
