Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize