Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
