Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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