I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
