Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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