I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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