remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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