...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
They have beer where we have blood.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
