I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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