just come out here and I will go home with you...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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